Saturday, September 20, 2008

I want out!

AAAAAAAAAAghhhhh! I hate my job. Can’t seem to reconcile with this boring shit anymore. Don’t want to waste 12 hours of my life everyday doing things that don’t interest me. Why be in office and do this mundane work everyday when there is so much color in life! Why can’t I write for a living or get into event management or be a wedding planner or open a boutique or start a bakery shop or get into dramatics or do script writing or generate employment for the poor ? And yes, yet be reasonably rich and reasonably famous ;-)

Am I asking for too much? Does one have to have only one ambition in life ? What will I get by becoming the HR head of a firm one day? Is it worth it to waste so many years of my life doing something that I don’t really wanna do but which could get me money and some fame? I could add a lot of value to a lot of places but just to be able to do that is so much of an effort! I don’t have the knack of getting my way around things. I don’t want to learn how to deal with politics. There are enough people out there who are willing to do that. I don’t want my life to pass by like this. I want out.

But when and how?

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Singh is King



I watched SIK day before yesterday and wanted to post a review.

Now I am not going to get into whether it's a blockbuster hit or a one time watch etc. I really do not care whether the masses have liked it or not. Am just gonna give my own personal experience sans any effects of the hype created around it or the insepid response it got from some people etc.

Not many movies make me laugh and SIK actually did. I liked the silly and simple comedy and though it did get too much in between, it was mostly enjoyable. A couple of scenes are actually hillarious. I think Akshay is excellent at handling comical roles with careless ease. I loved him in Bhool Bhuliya too ..remember 'Goti' ;-) ?

Other than that - Katrina looks very pretty but doesn't have many dialogues(as usual!). I liked the song 'Teri Oor'.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppTtAZeoAq8

Kiron Kher also stars in the movie and she's quite likeable. Its cute the way she connects with the villager 'Sardars' when they reach Australia.

The director also managed to get Snoop Dogg to do a song in the end wearing 'Pagri' n all! It was good fun watching Akshay and him in a sherwani on bhangra beats.

Zombie score for SIK - 7/10

Watch this movie if you wanna lighten your heart and forget your worries for a while.

Thursday, August 07, 2008

Premonitions

Have you ever had premonitions?
Have you had them consistently over a period of time?
How accurate were they?
Did it scare you to have them?
Did you feel powerful when you realized you are capable of seeing the future or did it intimidate you, what nature is capable of?

Well anyone who reads this post – please consider yourself tagged and go ahead and answer these yourself. Meanwhile here are my answers and experiences in the past.

I have had several premonitions and I could have left them to chance or a byproduct of the probability theory but when they happen consistently and accurately is when it begins to scare me. Yes I feel a strange sense of power within me that I can foresee but let me be honest here – I also feel intimidated with some sort of supernatural touch to this.

In the recent past –

This morning after parking my car, I was walking to office in slush (due to rain-showers over last few days), trying to avoid the puddles of water. I was carrying with me an envelope with important original documents. The walk from parking lot is about ten minutes and I had been careful to tightly grip the packet. When I was only a few steps away from the entrance, seeing the envelope still in my hand, I was happy I hadn’t dropped it. Just then I had a vision – I have dropped the envelope in a puddle of water and some one who found it then came to office to hand it over to me. While I was thinking about this – I entered the office and then crossing the reception, I started fishing in my bag for my swipe card. And then to my horror I realized that the envelope was no longer with me. I rushed back retracing my steps. And thankfully found it but I was shocked to see it lying in a puddle of water! This meant that the premonition came to me just before I dropped the packet. Probably if I had left it lying there for sometime – some one would have picked it and brought it. I wouldn’t know.

Anyhow I dismissed the incidence and went to work.

The second premonition came now about an hour ago. We have a visitor in our house for a few days – a close relative. He was to return late from work this night. Since it was already 11:30, I had dozed off. After about fifteen minutes or so I woke up with a start and thought I heard the door bell. I rushed to open the door but realized it was a dream as there was no one outside when I peeped through the eye. I lazily walked back to the room disappointed as I woke up unnecessarily. Just when I was about to climb on to my bed, within fifteen seconds or so the door bell actually rang. I looked through the eye – he was there. I asked him if he had rung the bell twice – the answer was no.

It’s beginning to scare me now. This is not the first time these series of visions have come to me. There was point of time, about eight years ago when anything that came out of my mouth would come true. It happened for one whole year until I finally shared this with my parents and told them I need help. It was bothering me. It was like some strange presence that was always with me in whatever I did. I began to feel responsible for everything happening around me. And then one night I sat down in solitude and as if spoke to that strange presence around me telling it to go away coz I didn’t want to bear the burden of running this world. It’s not my job I said, it’s probably God’s.

And then things came back to normal again until today. Not sure if this will continue. If it does – I will post here again narrating the same.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Kismat Connection- a review

If you aren’t less than 15 years of age, chances are you may not enjoy this movie. It may be Shahid Kapoor’s comeback film but I don’t go watching movies to promote his career you see!

Vidya Balan’s acting didn’t require much skill and the script was anything but unpredictable. Her clothes in the movie were as if from her own wardrobe, so that didn’t help the movie either. She was sans makeup for God knows what reason and wore a weird white spaghetti with different shirts and knee length skirts in almost every scene. Ugggh!

The two of them don’t look good together but that should have hardly been a constraint if they had enough chemistry.... IF!

But yes what you could do is go on You tube or Dhingana.com and listen to the song – ‘Baakhuda’. It’s a nice number and could be heard a few times over.

Zombie score for Kismat Connection – 3/10

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

'City of Djinns'

Am currently reading ‘City of Djinns’ a book by William Dalrymple.

Took me a while to get down to reading it patiently. I had got so used to the fast paced fictions that beginning to read this slow paced historical account was a little tough on me. You can’t skim through the pages, there’s no story, no mystery, no end and no dramatical beginning. The beauty of this book lies in the facts it simply states and the subject it deals with - Apni Dilli! - what the city was before partition and where it has become since then.

Am putting down a small excerpt out here that I could relate to as it talks about parts of Delhi where I have lived. A Britisher from the Imperial Raj recounts her experience when she lived here in younger years.

You must give my love to dear old Delhi’ said Iris. ‘Ah! Even now when I close my eyes I see….’ For a minute she left the sentence incomplete, then: ‘Pots of chrysanthemums!’ she said quite suddenly. ‘Rows and rows of chrysanthemums in little red pots ! That’s what I remember best. Those and the ruins: riding out through the bazaar and out into the country. The Qutab Minar and moonlight picnics in Hauz Khas- a place we all thought was madly romantic. The tombs everywhere all tumbling down and black buck and peacocks and monkeys..Is it still like that?

‘Upto a point ‘ I said.


Upto a point I too agree. ‘Hauz Khas ruins’ is still one of the most beautiful places in south Delhi. It’s kept clean and green and has a small pond surrounded my trees. Couples aren’t allowed to hold hands or get close unlike those thousands of beautiful historical monuments in the city where one visit could give you all the sex education you could ever ask for. It has a Deer park and a Rose garden where I used to go for walks when lived in that side of the city. My favorite eating joint in HK Village is the ‘Bistro’. At night, a table on the terrace with a good view of the beautifully lit ruins along with a nice breeze could make it the most romantic place in Delhi.

It’s also interesting to read about Lutyens and what a ‘crazy’ guy he was. Yet his architectural acumen led to the resurrection of structures that are comparable and even better than some of the best in the world.

All in all – a book worth reading especially if you stay in Delhi or have stayed in the past or have any vague interest in the story of partition. Not a gripping murder mystery but a collection of very well written diary entries.

Character..

Sometimes it takes ages to understand the character of a person and sometimes just situations.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Hi husband..

This post isn't meant for you - but I just wanna say sorry to you for many things today -

- marrying you for the wrong reasons.
- finding faults in what ever you do
- not smiling at you when you enter the house after a long day, not even when you are smiling at me
- smoking
- not acknowledging anything that you do for me
- screaming at you for bad weather
- blaming you for the wrong choices we made together and taking credit for the right one's.
- making our honeymoon a nightmare.
- putting on a show as your happily married wife
- admiring you for being so respected at work but never acknowledging it
- cooking for you as if I am doing you a big favour…
….and so many more

The list is endless..not sure how long will your patience last. I know I am wrong in putting you through all this but I don't know when I will be able to do anything about all of this and that's probably why I am writing this here and not to you...

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Setting up a house..

Setting up your house is not an easy task but nor is it boring. The passion with which you do it up will show in the end..every corner of your house will speak loudly the story of those tones of visits to the furniture stores, to the local nursery, to the artifacts gallery which you casually went to visit and from where you ended up buying the most perfect things to go with your upholstery! Yes I have done almost all of this in the last couple of months and more..

The furniture is ordered, the artifacts lying packed in the cupboards, the carpets rolled up in plastics waiting to be rolled out to adorn the floors of my house. Whether my house will exhibit the passion or not is yet to be seen but I am loving every bit of this!

Friday, June 06, 2008

Pearls of wisdom


I have always felt that I won't live very long and so before I vanish from the face of this earth...I thought I should put my words of wisdom down here lest the world be deprived of it ! :)



It's okay to doubt things, people, attitude and situations. Don't feel bad if they don't instill confidence in you. Validate/negate your fear and move ahead accordingly.

The definition of maturity becomes more advanced at every stage. There's always scope to become better.

Be well planned and prepared. Admit your mistakes at least to yourself. Never lose sight of the bigger picture. Don't get so involved in doing your job that you neglect the essentials for achieving your goals.

Do not judge people by their looks and demeanour lest you want to be shallow.

Don't ever be rude.

Stop being gloomy. Be happy.

Make sense and don't bend over backwards to please people.

Don't neglect your body and personal life.

The ability to rise above all problems and not fall weak during times of distress determines how successful you are in life.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

high time..

High time I stopped taking shit lying low. You can be nice to people but beyond a point it's not even counted as humility.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Confused sandwich



Encouraged by the loss of eleven kg’s which I experienced in the last three months, I treated my self to two brown bread sandwiches today.

For the brave at heart the recipe is as below:

Chop an onion and some cabbage and fry them in a little oil. Sprinkle it with some salt and red chilly powder. Fill this up in two pieces of brown bread and put the thing on a pan at a low flame till it turns crisp.

If you don’t burn it, you can also try and eat it. I did and I absolutely abhorred the result of my experimental cooking. I just couldn’t get any taste! In parts I could taste onions, sometimes cabbage and then the burnt toast (yes I managed to do that as well).

It was as if my sandwich was confused! I guess it couldn’t decide what it should taste like and let me take that call. As for me – I was just content that I put something inside my deprived stomach which was crying for dinner tonight. (Though I thought I could faintly hear my taste buds abusing me all the time wondering why I put them through this torture).

Right now though I have decided to take the plunge, amidst all the ho-ha shopping and arrangements, I feel exactly like that confused sandwich which has been stuffed with many varied emotions that it can’t deal with and also badly burnt. I will satiate the hunger of those craving to see my ‘happily married’ state but will not be able to keep anyone’s taste buds happy I guess.

On that note – Good night to all you. Hope you were blessed with a better dinner!

Right or wrong?

What is being morally correct? Being true to yourself or living up to the expectations of the world.

While it doesn’t take much to answer the correct option (which would be the former), how many of us actually practise it in our lives. In fact do we follow our heart at all if it were at the cost of being sniggered at.

Take for instance marriage. They say we should marry at the right age. It’s true that there’s no point in tying the knot if you can’t practically sustain it due to the logistics but beyond that, who is to say what is the right or wrong age for doing it? If you haven’t found someone you can connect with, why take the trouble of doing it at all?

Monday, March 31, 2008

the truth..

It's not hard to find the truth. What is hard is not to run away from it once you have found it.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Reviewing my progress...


This is what I had sworn to do two years back on my birthday and this is where I stand today:

1. Go for a 10 day trek

Well...not exactly but I went for a few treks for a couple of hours..hopefully I am able to do it this year..yes I still wanna do this!
2. Change my job

I did ...6 months after I wrote this3. Make a new friend for life..


4. Revive 3 old friendships I cherished but didn’t maintain.

I did.

5. Smile more often & make an attempt at being a more friendly person.

Am getting there

6. Not be miserable nor show it

Trying my level best..am getting better.

7. Get seriously involved in a social cause and continue it.

NO. Need to do this.

8. Start writing a book.

I just started..didnt pursue it :(

9. Lose 8 kgs of weight.

Lost 10 :D

10. Go for dancing classes

Learning Salsa these days.

11. Be more process oriented

Ask my manager! Am sick of processes by the way!

12. Define the purpose of my life.

Far from it

13. Remember to review it next year

Reviewing it after two years.

Hmmmmm...not bad!

Din dube na....


o saathi re din dube na...

aa chal din ko roke
dhup ke peeche daude
chaanv chhue na

o saathi re
o saathi re din dube na

aa chal din ko roke
dhup ke peeche daude
chaanv chhue na

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Monday, February 04, 2008

Something I wrote on a friend

Was it compassion,
Or was it funny that she smiled;
Was she really happy,
Or was it something she tried to hide.

Gets lost in her creative pursuits,
Structured on the outside,
An artist at the roots.
She could goof up..And make it look fine;
She could faulter, and yet never cross the line.

A head above her shoulders,
Emotions under boulders;
She moves on in life..
Lucky man he would be to whom she would be wife! :)

She could kill with her looks,
But she would rather drown in books;
She could intimidate,
But she'd rather put it straight.

She giggles for a while,
And regains composure like she never lost it;
A child at heart, a woman in body..
It would seem natural even if she flaunted

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

One two cha cha cha ..



So my Salsa teacher decided to go a little off track today seeing us all struggle with the steps and started teaching us CHA CHA CHA!!

Man...it was so much fun and guess what I think I finally found myself a nice partner in the vague office crowd! His pace matches with mine and also his frame :)

And we got the steps right in the first go...yipeeee!

Monday, January 14, 2008

Writer at heart..


They say everything happens for a reason. Or maybe we find reasons to everything that happens trying to make sense of it. Anyways, atleast for today I will try and go with what they originally say rather than my own skeptical view of the same :)

This colleague is office told me today her uncle is settled in Greece. Out of curiousity I asked what he does for a living. Apparently he writes...I couldn't believe my ears...what did she just say! He writes..as in a professional writer? Yes, he has written a couple of off-beat books and someone somewhere read one of them and liked it so much that he now writes scripts for Hollywood! One of his scripts has even been made into a movie...

Could people actually follow their heart and succeed in life? Do they have the luxury of doing what they enjoy most and yet be successful..enough to make people envy them..to make them famous and earn enough to lead a lifestyle they have always yearned for? I kept thinking about it for a while..it was stuck in my head..and then when I came back home..I read this note on my scrapbook in Orkut telling me what I wrote on a community page left an impression on the person and that I write well. :)

This is what I had written:

Diversion..

Could I divert from this path tread so often and do something bizarre..

Could I follow my dreams of doing what I really want,

Could I free myself of all pretense,

Could I not give a damn if I make a pretty picture,

Could I love, live and die how I want?



Is life sending me a signal?

Sunday, January 13, 2008

it must have been love


Lay a whisper on my pillow, leave the winter on the ground. I wake up lonely, theres air of silence in the bedroom and all around. touch me now, I close my eyes and dream away.

It must have been love but its over now. it must have been good but I lost it somehow. it must have been love but its over now. from the moment we touched til the time had run out.

Make-believing were together, that Im sheltered by your heart. but in and outside Ive turned to water like a teardrop in your palm. and its a hard winters day, I dream away.

It must have been love but its over now, it was all that I wanted, now Im living without. it must have been love but its over now, its where the water flows, its where the wind blows.

Hindi classic - Arth

I was on a VCD buying spree this weekend. Bought some old Hindi classics and for once didn’t wanna contribute to piracy so bought all originals – basically the one’s which had a 50% off :) but good one’s –

1. Arth ( Shabana Azmi, Smita Patil, Kulbhushan Kharbhanda, Raj kiran. Directed by Mahesh Bhatt)
2. Ek Din 24 Ghante ( Nandita Das, Rahul Bose)
3. Yun hota tho kya hota (
4. Yahaan (Jimmy Shergill and Minissha)
5. Utsav

As of now am done watching only ‘Arth’ but am really excited to finish the rest.

Putting down a small review here:

Arth is a movie about this woman, an orphan – Shabana Azmi who’s husband a movie director falls in love with an actress-Smita Patil, who too is madly in love with him. Despite there being nothing wrong in their marriage, he has this extra marital affair. He breaks the news to his wife after sometime and starts living with the actress.

Shabana soon comes to terms with reality and starts searching her own identity. She doesn’t give up on life – finds a job with the help of a man who’s a struggling Ghazal singer. She also goes on to adopt her maid’s daughter and chooses to live life with her, experiencing motherhood. The husband comes back to her later, after having a breakup with the actress lover but she doesn’t take him back.

My take – the songs by the struggling ghazal singer ( Jagjit Singh’s ) most famous one’s – are beautiful. How Shabana finds a way to spring back to life despite being devastated, is brilliant. The movie also depicts the struggle that the other woman goes through, in accepting the guilt of doing this to the wife. She can’t deal with the insecurity that the man could go back to his wife and ends up being mentally disturbed.

Great theme, beautifully dealt with, brilliant acting and touching songs!

Making new mistakes..


Read something in the newspaper today. This is by Maa Usha as she is referred to, who gives weekly Tarot updates in the Hindustan Times. Now, I don’t know if Tarot is a perfect science but what she said, is worth quoting here I thought:

Life is so precious – live it. I am not saying you will not mistakes – you will. Remember only one thing – don’t make the same mistakes again and again. A man who can find new mistakes to make will be growing continuously – that is the only way to learn, that is the only way to come to your inner light says Osho the Zen master.